Tuesday, January 14, 2014


It seems that 2013 finally ended.

It didn't end me as far as I can tell, but it was near. So near I could smell it's foul stench and hear the cold breath pushing it's invisible tentacles down my neck, strangling me pale from inside. 

In that one year I lost my job* and the safety it brought I had for nine years, moved into a house with more work and responsibility than ever, spent probably more nights awake than sleeping (combination of a non- sleeping baby and extreme stress FTW), and learned how to be a CEO/ customer service/ worker of my own business in the same package, got finally a new and way more demanding job by sending one casual non-work application email at a right time to the right person....and most importantly- got a valuable reminder that you can be prepared for anything but you still cannot predict the future. 

*For the record, the thing I do for living is quite a rare job and thus the obviously most fucked- up thing was that there simply weren´t any places open, which made the situation a bit more "demanding" to say the least.

Despite of my overweight, I usually tend to fall on my feet. Or, maybe it's because of that? So- lucky for me, in the end I ended up with things better than they used to be but the stress, worry and work meanwhile was nearly killing me in the process. And still does a bit, to be honest. Not even mentioning the gloomy option to having to sell our newly- bought house for probably less we paid for it if I hadn´t got any work. But somehow I could always believe that things will go fine at some point. Why? Because I will not submit. And in some brain cortex I must be a positive- thinking person after all. :D 
Part luck, part very careful strategizing and preparing and mostly because of the primitive "fuck you"- attitude towards the fate, is how I see my strategy for fighting the mishaps that dare to drift in front of me. I simply refuse to give up and force myself to beat the game with another tactics and laugh on it afterwards. GG NO RE, thank you.

“GG NO RE” stands for "good game, no rematch". It's mostly used in multiplayer shooter games where you greet your opponent for the match and state your wish not to have another one. Funny how that´s exactly how I feel about last year.

Lok´ tar Awesome,



PS: As New Year´s resolutions are for silly people, I will make statements instead.

1. Moonsorrow will finish writing the new album, which we have already started.
2. There will be more blog posts in the future (but don´t blame me if you don´t like them though :D )
3. I will double- check the files I overwrite so I don´t end up accidentally destroying half of the text I wrote earlier like on this one.

1 comment:

  1. It's kind of fucked up as a fan to say this, but my favorite Moonsorrow songs capture kind of the musical equivalent of what you seem to be talking about, especially in Tuleen ajettu maa. Just more and more stress building up until just before it all breaks apart it settles and a new, more comforting theme comes out of it.

    Happy to hear all is going better and I look forward to more frequent posts. Happy New Year.