Unholy Congregation

Moonsorrow Industries                          Board Member Meeting 

 

09/27/2014, 17:30 – 03:30 EET, Vantaa, Finland.

Participants in arriving order:

Henri Sorvali

Marko Tarvonen

Markus Eurén

Ville Sorvali

Mitja Harvilahti

Topic list

1. Discussing the demands and roles in social media. Guest speaker: Henri´s wife.

2. Preparing an internal survey concerning possibly controversial shirt designs.

3. "Black Metal ideology and viral marketing: Is co- existing possible?" An open debate.

4. Consultation of the board members on various untested musical numbers.

5. The history of Finnish Black Metal in audiovisual form- followed by a documentary on the topic.

17:30 V. Sorvali informs of running late from the meeting.

17:35 Harvilahti informs of running late from the meeting

18:20 Tarvonen arrives with Eurén, accompanied with refreshements, beverages and bun. The participants decide to brew coffee while discussing on the authenticity of a certain Burzum- album H. Sorvali had received. After a brief consultation and investigation, it is noted that the CD is authentic. Eurén makes a note on vinyl products being superior to CD.

18:30 V.Sorvali arrives. Bun is served with fresh coffee to all participants, including a small ghost member of the board who insists of having a third slice of "isi pulllllaaaa pullaaaa". The board members declare the meeting on and Henri Sorvali is chosen to take down the minutes. A moment is taken on discussing Harvilahti´s recent outlooks and remarks between his appearance and American "Hipster Black Metal bands" are noted.

18:55 Harvilahti arrives, wearing a black leather jacket and a wooly cap. The board members rest their case on the outlooks- issue. More bun is served.

19:00 The board vouches against advertising campaigns in social media. "Very Black Metal" is briefly mentioned in a rather sarcastic tone. A discussion concerning the possibility of withdrawing a certain merchandise heats up rather quickly between some members of the board. It is finally decided that the rest of the stock will be available for sale normally, and the product line will meet it´s end after the last sold item.

19:15 The board relocates itself from the lounge into a closed cabinet with sound- proofing.

19:25 H. Sorvali introduces new material for the board. It is noted that some of the excerpts carry a slight resemblance on a competing foreign product, and need to be re- iterated before a possible launch campaign. Harvilahti threatens to leave the board if he is once more exposed to "those fucking same old temp- vocals in every fucking song". The board evaluates the concerns and threat and decides to remove them from the test environment.

20:30 Multiple tests, variations and approaches are performed on "Vanhaliitto_Ritual". After careful construction of a new approach, the board vouches against at the end, and decides to go with the previous version. V. Sorvali informs the board that he might be running out of beverages soon and his concerns are noted.

22:00 "Vanhaliitto_Ritual" is renamed into "Vanhaliitto_Ritual_folk". It is decided that the board will re- evaluate "Asdfperse" once more. V. Sorvali informs the board that he has ran out of beverages and H. Sorvali´s storage is utilized for him and Eurén. Eurén complains on the quality of the beverages. Sorvali suggests Eurén to use a female reproductive organ as a headpiece.

22:20 Eurén´s lack of participation in social media is taken into discussion. It is vouched to create him an account of his own despite of Eurén´s protest. The board listens to Demoniac´s "Myths of Metal" on high volume for research and development purposes. It is noted that the board members have left window and curtains on the road open, and a question is raised whether the rather controversial imagery and incorrect hand gestures are visible to the street. The board decides to play the song once more.

22:45 "Asdfperse" is dissected, re-structured and re- iterated. H. Sorvali´s concerns on the product lacking certain values are voted down four against one. The board decides to withdraw from the cabinet into the library. Tarvonen informs and apologies the board on his upcoming leave due to logistical issues.

22:50 Tarvonen has left the meeting. It is decided to watch an audiovisual documentary on Finnish Black Metal for research and development purposes.

22:55 Concerns of disturbing the residents of the house are noted. Formal apologies are represented. The board relocates itself from the library into a closed cabinet with sound- proofing.

23:05 The board begins to watch the documentary "Loputon Gehennan Liekki".

23:07 The board has to pause the documentary because of uncontrolled bursts of laughter.

23:12 Documentary is paused due to a break for inhaling smoke outside of the building.

23:20 Harvilahti informs the board that he has ran out of beverages. H. Sorvali informs Harvilahti to assist himself on the matter. Harvilahti insists of switching off the lights while watching the documentary.

23:30 H. Sorvali stumbles on a bowl full of snacks in the dark room. The documentary is paused.

23:40 Documentary is paused due to a rather heated discussion on the topic concerning politics and Black Metal.

23:45 Documentary is paused again due to a rather heated discussion on the topic concerning politics and Black Metal.

0:05 Documentary is paused for discussing on Demonos Sova´s beard, KVLT record store and the possibilities of more beverages. Harvilahti suggests a comparison on H. Sorvali with an attention span of a squirrell. Sorvali opposes.

0:30 Documentary is finished. More beverages are being served. H. Sorvali takes a note on all of them being the same label from the same place. The board votes for using the beverages for common good. Harvilahti raises a question on the possibility of another documentary, which the board chooses carefully. It is decided to watch "Satan Rir Media".

0:40 Documentary is paused due to a discussion on Jørn´s hair.

0:45 The board votes for switching into another document instead. "Out of the Black" is chosen. The board takes a note that they have no knowledge on the bands in the documentary. The board quickly realizes they have absolutely no desire to know about the bands in the documentary. An American short- haired male is wearing a suit and a bad corpsepaint. It is noted that one of the bands in the documentary are a Christian band with sound resembling Black Metal. Eurén expresses his dissatisfaction with various noises. V. Sorvali mocks loudly on the documentary. H. Sorvali is eating skumbananer and Harvilahti insists of "turning that fucking cheese off." The board decides to watch "Båtresan" instead because of Pekka Siitoin.

 

1:30 The board is reciting Pekka Siitoin on the screen. "Jjjjjjeesus oli humanisti!" "Heidät khaikki phithää tapppppppphaaaaa". A discussion on certain amount of intelligence needed for raising children is taken up. The board is reciting more Siitoin. More low- quality beverages are consumed.

2:00 V. Sorvali informs that the beverage supplies are running dangerously low. It is decided to use the secret storage. H. Sorvali notes the secret storage only having a handful of distilled spirits left. Harvilahti and V. Sorvali decide to compete on the better- quality substance by playing rock- paper- scissors. Harvilahti wins. It is voted 4-1 that all the bottles will be shared equally. A great comparison between Hades´ "Alone Walkyng" cassette demo and the repressed CD is made. Eurén brings out the subject of "The Pulse of Decay". Sarcastic laughter is heard. Eurén disgruntles.

3:10 The board decides to end the meeting. A taxi is called.

3.15 The taxi arrives for V.Sorvali, Harvilahti and Eurén.

3:20 H. Sorvali stumbles into a bowl full of snacks in the dark room.